Jon's Blog

2006-09-04T05:07:00.000-07:00

P.S. I've gotten a job! With Mr. Bierstaker. I'm going to start tomorrow. I'll be helping with fences, decks, lawnmowing, and other jobs. It's cool that I get to work outside (cool....in more ways than one, lol) I don't mind working either. I hope that you guys have fun with school. Who knows, I might even see you while working...maybe.

2006-09-02T19:07:00.001-07:00

Hello to all my friends and acquaintances who are reading this! To all others 'Hey there'. I'm back from the conference....Camp Tamarack. The memories are still relatively fresh. It was just yesterday morning that I awoke, put on layers of clothing and headed out of my cabin to the lukewarm showers...It seems like a lot longer though. I was in charge of taking pictures of the conference. I probably took about 4 to 5 hundred myself and others supplied about 600+ more. However, I don't have many pics left of camp still on my camera :). Oh well, I guess I'll get to see some soon enough. Some of them weren't too good anyways, at least compared to Carol's.

It was spiritually strengthening, the speakers were great. and I remet several acquaintances that I knew from other churches and met some new ones. I saw Jeremy Egberts with someone on visitor's day, I'm not so sure but I think I even saw some Vandykens. I enjoyed myself. I would not now have traded this time for a week's wages. It was priceless. Anywho, I'd better get to bed now, hope to hear from everybody from Nobleton how there/your conference went.

2006-09-02T19:07:00.000-07:00

2006-08-19T04:27:00.000-07:00

I don't know how to say this except that I just wanna post something, and so I'm jus' gonna post something about what's going on with me. Since I'm almost done highschool(with the sole exception of my French) and I'm not going to any university this year I'm gonna be working. With the last two summers having to do schoolwork because I didn't get my schoolwork done in time the change feels nice. I'm gonna be going to camp Tamarack after just one week of work and then after that I'm gonna hopefully find a job (I found out that my job at the estate is ending at the end of this month) and doing some school stuff on the side. They say that variety is the spice of life, so though I'll probably be used to it in several months, I think that I have much to be thankful to God for, for providing all these experiences, and I'm sure that all of you that are looking at this blog are going to be having some experiences too this fall, even if it's just plain old school ;) you're learning each day.

Jonathan <><

2006-08-01T16:26:00.000-07:00

To Bloggers, non-bloggers, friends, mortal enemies, vegetables, casual passerbies and all other human beings and/or reading animals.

Greetings. I just would like to inform you.....that you must have just made a mistake, because you would never have clicked on the link to this blog under normal circumstances. This aforesaid blog contains all manner of silly posts, mind-bending perplexities, and neat-o pictures. I advise you to veer away from this window/blog before these large words become part of your everyday vocabulary.

With all due regard....affection, and/or disregard

Jonathan ----------

2006-07-25T16:50:00.000-07:00

2006-07-25T16:44:00.000-07:00

Some pics of wonderland....finally

2006-07-25T16:41:00.000-07:00

More Pictures of my work

2006-07-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

Pictures of my work

2006-07-22T19:18:00.000-07:00

This is a funny thing I picked up on Wikipedia. We'll be quoting these things sooner or later.

Rhinoceros Party of Canada
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
(Redirected from Rhino Party)
Jump to: navigation, search
Rhinoceros Party of Canada
Former Federal Party
Founded
1963
Dissolved
1993
Political ideology
satirical
International alignment
frivolous, animals as electoral candidates
Colours
Seats
{{{seats_house}}}
Website
Official Rhino comeback website
The Parti Rhinocéros, commonly known as the Rhinoceros Party in English, was a registered political party in Canada from the 1960s to the 1990s. Operating within the Canadian tradition of political satire, the Rhinoceros Party's basic credo, their so-called primal promise, was "a promise to keep none of our promises." They then promised outlandishly impossible schemes designed to amuse and entertain the voting public.
The Rhinos were started in 1963 by Jacques Ferron, "Éminence de la Grande Corne du parti Rhinoceros". In the 1970s, a group of artists joined the party and created a comedic political platform to contest the federal election. Ferron (1979), poet Gaston Miron (1972) and singer Michel Rivard (1980) ran against Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau in his Montreal seat.
The party, which claimed to be the spiritual descendants of Cacareco, a Brazilian rhinoceros who was elected member of São Paulo's city council in the 1950s, listed Cornelius the First, a rhinoceros from the Granby Zoo, east of Montreal, as its leader. The party claimed that the rhinoceros was an appropriate symbol for a political party since politicians, by nature, are "thick-skinned, slow-moving, dim-witted, can move fast as hell when in danger, and have large, hairy horns growing out of the middle of their faces."
Contents[hide]
1 Rhinoceros Party platform
2 Political successors
2.1 Electoral results
3 See also
4 External links
//
[edit]

Rhinoceros Party platform
Bryan Gold of the Rhinoceros Party described the party platform as two feet high and made of wood. "My platform is the one I'm standing on." A candidate named Ted "not so" Sharp ran in Flora MacDonald's Ontario riding with the campaign slogan "Fauna, not flora", promising to give fauna equal representation. Sharp's platform on the controversial abortion issue was clear: "If elected, I promise to never have an abortion." Party member (and singer) Michel Rivard once went on TV (during free air time given to political parties) and stated: "I have but two things to say to you: Celery and Sidewalk. Thank you, good night."
The Rhinos have also promised to break every promise (a platform plank they claim has been copied and put into execution by the mainstream parties) and have promised, if elected, to immediately demand a recount.
Other platform promises released by the Rhinoceros Party included:
repealing the law of gravity,
reducing the speed of light because it's much too fast,
paving Manitoba to create the world's largest parking lot,
providing higher education by building taller schools,
instituting English, French and illiteracy as Canada's three official languages,
offering to retrain those constituents who want to become illiterate by enrolling them in a state educational institution,
tearing down the Rocky Mountains so that Albertans could see the Pacific sunset, or moving them one metre west as a make-work project,
legalising pot. And pans. And spatulas. And other kitchen utensils,
building sloping roads and bicycle paths across the country so that Canadians could "coast from coast to coast",
making all sidewalks out of rubber to prevent inebriated people from hurting themselves when they fall down
responding to the energy crisis, reducing energy costs for transportation by moving the cities of Montréal 50km west and Toronto 50km east,
abolishing pumping oil out of the ground as that oil is there to keep the earth moving smoothly on its axis and if you withdraw the oil, the whole thing will grind to a halt,
abolishing the environment because it's too hard to keep clean and it takes up so much space,
annexing the United States, which would take its place as the third territory, after the Yukon and the Northwest Territories (Nunavut did not yet exist) in Canada's backyard, in order to raise the mean temperature of Canada by one degree Celsius,
replacing the Canadian Armed Forces with clones of Vladislav Tretiak,
end crime by abolishing all laws
making bubble gum the national currency, so that it could be inflated or deflated at will,
breeding a mosquito that would only hatch in January so that "the little buggers will freeze to death",
turning Montreal's Saint Catherine Street into the world's longest bowling alley,
adopting the British system of driving on the left; this was to be gradually phased in over five years with large trucks first, then buses, eventually including small cars and bicycles last,
as an energy-saving idea, putting larger wheels on the back of all cars so that they will always be going downhill,
selling the Canadian Senate at an antique auction in California,
putting the national debt on Visa,
declaring war on Belgium because a Belgian cartoon character, Tintin, killed a rhinoceros in one of the cartoons,
offering to call off the proposed Belgium-Canada war if Belgium delivered a case of mussels and a case of Belgian beer to Rhinoceros "Hindquarters" in Montréal (the Belgian Embassy in Ottawa did, in fact, do this),
painting Canada's coastal sea limits so that Canadian fish would know where they were at all times,
counting the Thousand Islands to make sure none were missing,
running Penny Hoar on a safe sex platform in Toronto,
running more than one candidate per riding as an MP's salary is certainly enough to support more than one person,
exploiting acid rain as an electrical energy source by placing dissimilar-metal electrodes in Canadian swimming pools in order to use them as batteries,
making Canadians stronger by putting steroids in the water,
banning lousy Canadian winters,
moving the Vatican to Saint-Bruno-de-Montarville, Quebec to promote tourism,
putting the West Edmonton Mall on wheels and rolling it to areas of the country suffering from economic depression,
turning the Louis-Hippolyte Lafontaine tunnel in Montreal into a free carwash by poking holes in the ceiling,
annexing Greenland and creating a cartel with other northern nations in order to sell icebergs to the Saudis; the cartel would be called "Snopec",
digging a canal from coast to coast, by hand, to reduce unemployment; and then, leveling the Rocky Mountains and using the canal to transport the material east to fill in the Great Lakes, in order to expand Canada's landmass.
The Rhino Party also declared that, should they somehow actually win an election, they would immediately dissolve and force a second election.
A British Columbia splinter group proposed running a professional dominatrix for the position of party whip, breaking with the province's colonial heritage by renaming "British Columbia" to "La La Land", moving the provincial capital, and merging with the Progressive Conservative Party so as not to split the silly vote.
Despite the obvious appeal of banning winter, the Rhinoceros Party never succeeded in winning a seat in Parliament. In the 1984 federal election, however, the party won the fourth-largest number of votes, after the three main political parties, but ahead of several well-established minor parties. Rhino candidates sometimes came in second in certain ridings, humiliating traditional Canadian parties in the process. In the 1980 federal election, for instance, the Rhinoceros party nominated a professional clown/comedian named Sonia "Chatouille" Côté ('chatouille' means tickles in French) in the Laurier riding in Montréal. Côté came in second place, after the successful Liberal candidate, but ahead of both other major parties: the third place New Democrat, and the fourth-place Progressive Conservative candidate. Chatouille received almost twice as many votes as the PC candidate.
Early in the party's history, when it was mainly composed of French-speaking Québécois, they chose as their official translator a party member who was the only unilingual anglophone party member at the time.
Although not recognized in the United States, former baseball pitcher Bill Lee ran for President of the United States in 1988 on the Rhinoceros Party ticket.
[edit]

Political successors
The party abstained from the 1993 federal election while they questioned the constitutionality of new rules that required the party to run candidates in at least 50 ridings at a cost of $1,000 per candidature. On September 23, 1993, Canada's Chief Electoral Officer, Jean-Pierre Kingsley, refused to accept the party's abstention and ordered the removal of the Rhinoceros Party from the Registry of Canadian Political Parties, effectively eliminating them from the Canadian political system.
Kingsley also directed the party's official agent, Charlie (le Concierge) McKenzie, to liquidate all party assets and return any revenues to the Receiver General of Canada. On instructions from the party, McKenzie refused. After two years of threatening letters, Ottawa refused to prosecute McKenzie, who now claims to hold the distinction of being Canada's "least-wanted fugitive".
François Gourd, a prominent Rhino, later started another political movement, the entartistes. The entartistes attracted attention in the 1990s by planting cream pies in the faces of various Canadian politicians.
Other Rhinoceros Party members founded the Parti citron (Lemon Party), which attempted to bring a similar perspective to provincial politics in Quebec, with much less success. Recently however, the Parti Citron became a federal party, and has enjoyed widespread support from silly people nationwide.
Since the party's dissolution, a number of independent election candidates have informally claimed the Rhinoceros Party label even though the party itself no longer existed. There have also been a number of unsuccessful attempts to revive the Rhinos as a legally incorporated political party.
In 2001, Brian "Godzilla" Salmi, who received his nickname because of the Godzilla suit he wore while campaigning, tried to revive the Rhinoceros Party to contest the British Columbia provincial election. While they pulled some pranks that earned some media coverage, only two of their candidates (Liar Liar - Vancouver Mt. Pleasant and Helvis - Vancouver Burrard) appeared on the ballots, as the party claimed the $100 candidate registration fee was a financial hardship. The party disbanded shortly thereafter.
More recently, the Absolutely Absurd Party has attempted to revive the traditions of political satire that the Rhinoceros Party originated. This new group, however, was related to the Rhinos only in spirit.

2006-07-22T19:00:00.000-07:00

Another pic of our yps chilaxing at coffee house

2006-06-29T16:41:00.000-07:00

Hello Everyone,

Jus' to tell you'll what's been happening with me lately, I've been working as a grounds-man at an estate around Shcomberg, east of 27. It's been tiring and much different than what I've been used to. My co-workers are ok. The estate is beautiful. It looks like the thing that you might see on the cover of 'home and garden.' I get to use a blower, muck out stalls, drive a golf cart once in a while. I work 9 and a half hours. But with driving and lunch included it's 11 hours. It's taking some getting used to.

2006-06-21T08:12:00.000-07:00

Some beautiful pictures that I took a while ago

This is from last winter. I took it in Orangeville as we were driving from the homeschooling presentation (Remember that, Andrew and Tim)

2006-06-20T18:07:00.000-07:00

Guess what? Haven't guessed yet? o.k. I got my G2 last Wendsday. I took my Pake's van(that's grandpa in Dutch) to the Orangeville Driving License office with my mom. We drove around for about a half hour practicing my driving and stuff. Then I took the test. It wasn't too bad, actually. The examiner looked tough e.g. was taller than me, had a bald head, sunglasses that covered his head, a goatee, and a tattoo on his calf, but he was polite and pretty nice. I actually felt less nervous driving with him than with my mom. I did a great parallel park. He said that I was 'a pretty good driver' I now have my G2 with insurance (G2 great, insurance...not so much :-) ) I've been driving by myself for a little bit now well, with Benjamin. It's kinda weird, in a cool sort of way.

2006-06-16T04:32:00.000-07:00

This BE-autiiifull piece of culinary delight was made by Carol VanDyke (Once a Dikschei) for Ashleigh's (Her daughter's) birthday. She liked Cinderella and I think the party was a dress-up party with a Castle theme. The drawbridge is made out of grahm cracker, the water out of Jello, The Gates are wafer cookies, I think that candies are around the door, pink Icing all around the 'castle' the turrents are made from sugar cones, and the tops out of hersey's kisses. I saw it the night before the hike on the Bruce trail. I had my mouth open, I was so amazed. I made sure to take a picture of it before it was....well...eaten. Carol also took a picture of it, you can see it on her blog if you want to. The link's on the right.

2006-06-14T10:26:00.000-07:00

These are pics of the Young People's Hike at the Bruce trail last year at Thankgiving. It was beautiful! The colors were gourgeous, and the view was...like...wow.
Waterfall about 30 meters below where I was standing
I think this was some of the town of Dundas
Some Young People on...can you guess...that's right, the Bruce Trail. Ben, my brother is the one in the cap and blue jeans to the right, Luke Bonvanie (A friend from Sheffield) is in the Orange Sweater to Ben's left

2006-06-14T07:34:00.000-07:00

For those who Don't know them they are: (From left to right) Mike, Brad, Charlene, Steve, and Louise. They were last year's Young People's board from last year. The 3 on the right are siblings, and the 2 on the right are as well. This year, our board was lessened (Mike was too old and we didn't need too many people on the board) and now only the ones in the middle are a part of it.

2006-06-13T07:49:00.000-07:00

Hey I finally got a blog!